Remembering Past Crushes

We recently subscribed to StarChoice satellite TV - which is a good thing because our local cable company sucks. I was happy to start getting the Space channel to watch all of my favourite sci-fi shows. Image my surprise when I discovered they were airing SeaQuest DSV which originally aired '92 - '95. The first two seasons were awesome, a real science show. The third season went into a military type sci-fi mode and quickly lost viewers. I had a real crush on Jonathan Brandis who played Lucas on the show. He had done a couple of movies that I really liked prior to that. He was so cute! Blue eyes to die for and a killer smile. I always imagined him playing the lead character when they made my favourite Dean Koontz book into a movie (which they never did).
I was stunned back in '03 when that I had heard that Jonathan had committed suicide. Considering that I had experience with a family suicide, I was shocked. I mean, I don't pretend to have known Jonathan, but it really made me think, you know? He had plenty of work after SeaQuest was cancelled and I know that I cannot have been the only loyal fan that he had. What had brought the poor man to that point in his life that he couldn't see any other way out of it? I could understand a little better if I knew that he suffered from depression - been there, done that - wouldn't wish it on anyone.
It really makes you think, though. It's kind of reassuring in a way to know that even those that we think lead "the glamourous life", struggle through life, just like the unglamourous - it's not all just movie premiers and photo shoots.
I guess just watching the show over the past few days has really brought this all to the surface.